If you’re looking for a straightforward, back-to-basics approach to conquering the game and reaching the endgame with minimal fuss, this caveman-style guide is for you. No fancy strategies or complicated gameplay mechanics—just simple, effective tips to help you survive and thrive from start to finish.
Beggar: Survive and Learn
In the beginning, when you’re just a beggar, don’t kill unnecessarily. Fighting may make your enemies angrier, increasing the spirit count that will haunt you later.
- Don’t kill unless necessary, as dying creates angry spirits that make the game harder.
- Use a big bonk stick for defense because it’s easier to control and avoids accidental kills.
- The early game is hard; expect to suffer but persevere—it’s part of the journey.
- Save your money, and invest in insured weapons. If you struggle, a big axe is a great choice to carry you forward.
Peasant: Step Up Your Game
Once you level up to peasant, killing becomes more feasible but still risky. Make your attacks count and avoid dying to keep the downside low.
- Continue using the bonk stick or big axe for effective combat.
- If you can kill a tough enemy who’s carrying a weapon, loot their gear.
- Focus on acquiring a long stick with a pointy end, which lets you poke enemies from a distance—much safer than close combat.
- This ranged stick will make the next stage much easier.
Commoner: Fight with Confidence
As a commoner, killing is acceptable and encouraged, as long as you don’t die in the process.
- Use that pointy stick to attack quickly and from a safe distance.
- Be prepared to face many angry spirits, but don’t let them overwhelm you.
- Keep fighting until you score a super pointy stick—the best weapon in the game.
- With the super pointy stick, everything gets easier. You can poke enemies from far away and dispatch them without much trouble.
- Make sure to pick up armor from angry men before leaving the arena and pay money to insure your gear in case you die.
- Pick up as many super pointy sticks as you can—just in case.
Militia: Keep It Simple
At this stage, the super spikey stick is your best friend. Don’t overcomplicate things—just keep using what works.
- Stick with the super spikey stick for reliable damage output.
- Take armor from angry enemies to save money—you’ll need it for later ranks.
Soldier: Stay the Course
Not much changes here—the spikey stick remains your go-to weapon. Keep grinding and stay disciplined.
- Continue relying on the spikey stick to deal consistent damage.
Veteran: Time to Upgrade
By now you should have built up a decent amount of money. It’s time to start crafting better weapons and adapting your strategy.
- Start crafting a big metal head stick—it performs great against heavily armored enemies.
- Sharp weapons are still useful against lighter, less armored enemies.
- Your caveman should be well trained by now—use that experience to your advantage.
Man At Arms: Adapt and Conquer
The angry men are now sporting better armor, so sharp weapons won’t cut it as effectively anymore. Time to switch up your approach.
- The spikey stick is still very good for bonking, but consider switching to a big heavy bonk for maximum impact.
- Trip enemies and hit them in the head for big damage.
- Make sure to pick up good armor and insure it—just in case you die.
- With solid armor equipped, you should rarely die. Just be careful not to trip, because angry men love to bonk back!
Knight: Stay Disciplined
The strategy doesn’t change much here—just keep doing what’s been working.
- Keep using the big bonk and stay on your feet—don’t trip!
- Pick up the best weapons and armor you can find.
- Sell old gear if you need more money to stay funded.
Lord: The Championship Awaits
You’ve made it to the final stretch. Complete missions to reach the Championship—the ultimate test of your caveman skills.
- Do plenty of missions to earn your way to the Championship.
- By now you should have excellent armor and should rarely—if ever—die, even when tripped.
- In the Championship, consider hiring more cavemen to help you fight multiple enemies at once, so you can focus on the super big angry man.
- Once the super big angry man is on the ground, pick up his weapon—it’s the best bonk in the game.
- You can’t take the super big angry man’s armor, but you’ll earn pieces of it each time you clear the Championship.
- Always pick up the super big bonk—sell extras for money and keep spares just in case.
Final Thoughts
This caveman-style approach focuses on survival, patience, and upgrading your weapons strategically. Don’t rush. Use simple, effective tools to progress steadily through every rank—from Beggar all the way to Lord. Soon enough, you’ll be breezing through the Championship with your trusty bonks and pointy sticks in hand!
Have fun, and happy poking!
